Sunday, January 15, 2012

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that some of the faces that I saw around the Air Force base (where we used to live) would become life long friends.  People I would see mainly at the elementary school on base where I would drop off and pick up my then, daycare children.  These people didn't know it, nor did I, that Ethan would impact their lives forever.

One person in particular who was there the night of the accident, was a person who I had seen many times.  I knew who she was because my little daycare girl would always run up to her and hug her.  This lady was a Kindergarten teacher, and my little daycare girl had her the previous year for Kindergarten.

Anyway, this particular sweet Christian lady would end up being one of the most caring, loving, and considerate people that I know.  The impact that she, and many others, would take with them after our tragedy...well, it's all for His glory.  It's humbling.

My temporary loss here on earth, the death of my son, is so very hard.  It always will be hard.  But I gained many wonderful friends, and I am thankful for each and everyone of you.  You know who you are, and I love you all.  Thank you for all you have done for our family, for you love, for your support.  Thank you for loving Ethan, and placing him in your heart.  Many of you never knew Ethan until the night of the accident, and yet you mourned and loved him just as if you knew him for many years.  Thank you!  God bless you all, I mean that!


Friday, January 13, 2012

The Victories of Our Past, and I Need Help!

If you read my post from a couple of days ago, I wrote about fear, and mentioned Max Lucado's Fear Not Devotional.  In that particular devotion, Max wrote about not focusing on the worries ahead, but the victories of the past.  I like that, and what he has written has inspired me to focus on the victories.  Perhaps focusing on victories will help to not focus on fears.

Would you join me in sharing victories?  Maybe share on here commenting, or we can do a link up and I can link your blog up if you choose to post a blog on victories of the past.  BUT I need help on linking up, because I have no clue how to do that!!!

Perhaps if we can reflect on victories of the past...those times that seemed as if we would never make it through, we could find encouragement and strength.  We can pause and give thanks to the One who gave us that peace that surpasses understanding.  We will then know and understand that we can and will make it through this temporary life because we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I think fear is something that most of us have or do struggle with on a pretty regular basis.  Especially if we have survived a very traumatic experience, or have faced health issues, etc.  But do we talk about it?  I don't think a lot of us do.  In our society, I believe people who are perceived as weak are looked down upon, therefore, we don't express fear.  Even more sad, I think there is this perception that Christians are supposed to always "have it together," and therefore, we don't express how we really feel because that would make us look not as Christ-like.  But is that true?  No.  We are only human, and we are, whether we like it or not, going to have fear at several points in our life.  It's what we do with that fear that will be life-changing not only for us, but for our families and our friends. 

This morning, as I struggled with my fears, I picked up my copy of Max Lucado's devotional Fear Not.  I purchased this little gem back in June of 2010, when we were in San Antonio saying our final goodbye on earth to Ethan.  Though I don't read through it much, I feel God leading me to open up not only this book, but His Word more often.  How many times do I sit and worry about the what-ifs when those really don't ever come to fruition?  Jesus said in Matthew 6:27--Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?  In today's verbiage, Jesus was basically say who can grow or add to your life by being worried?  Powerful.  I've never gained anything by worry except for an ulcer. 

It's funny, and yet it's SO what my friends and I call "A God Thing," that Josh and Evan and I revisited a church this past Sunday that we are interested in making our church home.  And what was that sermon on?  Matthew 6:25-34.  Just in case you don't have your Bible available, or you don't read the Bible, those passages are about not having fear and trusting Him to provide.  Oh how God knew I needed to hear that sermon! 

I will close this post with one of the devotionals from Max's book I mentioned earlier in the post.  Here we go:

Are you tied up in knots?  Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)  Strong verb there.  Cast.  Not place, lay, or occasionally offer... Max goes on to write:  Do the same with your fears.  Get serious with them.  Immediately cast them upon God.

Worry is an option, not an assignment.  God can lead you into a worry-free world.  Be quick to pray.  Focus less on the problems ahead and more on the victories behind.  Do your part, and God will do his.  He will guard your heart with his peace...a peace that surpasses understanding.
(From Max Lucado's Fear Not for I am with You Always Promise Book, copyright 2009)

As I sit her writing, Evan asks what I am writing about, and when I said fear and Jesus, he told me I need to write the following scripture:  God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid;  He gives us a spirit of power, and love, and self-control.  II Timothy 1:7 

Perhaps I should not only listen to God, but also my son?  Have a blessed day!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

A Realization

(A very late post.  Was originally written 9-10-11, but I forgot to publish it)

Today Josh, Evan and I took a family outting to McAllister Park here in San Antonio to bike the trails.  We ended up doing a little over 7 miles, which to my amazement, is a lot for a 5 year old!  The whole bike ride, I kept looking at Evan and thinking how cute he is, and how full of energy and strength and endurance he is for just a little guy.  Which brought me back to when he was a wee little one.  You see, Evan was very challenging from about 6 months of age, on.  Ethan was a very easy baby, in comparison!  Here is an example:  With Ethan, we never child-proofed or safety locked anything in the house because he stayed out of everything.  Not the case with Mr. Evan, no sir!  We had to lock down the house like Ft. Knox, and even so, Evan was sometimes one step ahead of me!  But anyway, with easy going Ethan being my first baby and parenting experience, I just thought all babies were the same--WRONG!!! :o)  There were many times I would ask God why did you give me such a busy baby?  Lord, this is hard work!  EVAN!!!!!!  Stop that right now!!!!!  :o)

Of course, Evan is much easier now that he's a mature little guy.  But today I saw the blessing God gave to Josh and I in a very different light.  God knew that we would need our little busy body to keep us busy once Ethan was gone.  God knew what he was doing when he gave us an energetic bundle of energy!  I am thankful and blessed to have such an outgoing, interactive, energetic, talkative (who is also kind, sweet, Godly in character...could go on and on). 

On a side note, Lord I am so sorry for all of the times I complained about Evan's energy! :o)