Yes, I CAN have Joy!

This morning while reading my Bible, I came across a verse that JUMPED out to me, and filled me with peace and a smile.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 

 ~Psalm 126:4~

I believe this is a hyacinth.  I snapped this picture while in Monterrey, CA in November, visiting a dear friend.

Yes, I believe that is true!!!  For two plus years I have cried and cried.  I've been in a rut.  Actually, our family has been in a rut.  

Here's the difference I see now:  JOY, PEACE, HOPE

I can see a return of joy into my life.  To be honest, I didn't think I would ever feel that again--never.  It seems nearly impossible when you've buried your child.  It seems nearly impossible when you have a hole in your heart, and an ache in your soul beyond comprehension.  

But I want to to you there is JOY.  Where there is God, there is HOPE.  Where there is HOPE, we can continue on this long, dusty, sometimes dark and painful road of grief.

Don't give up.  As someone at a GriefShare meeting said in our video:  LEAN into Jesus.  But how?

Let me be really, really honest.  Before Ethan passed, I was at a very happy and fulfilling point in my life both spiritually with the Lord, and in my marriage and family life.  

After Ethan passed, my spiritual walk fell apart.  NOT my faith.  But my consistency in Bible reading of any sort went completely away.  I was broke.  I HAD to lean into Jesus;  to sit in His lap and just...be.  

We ALL, believers or non-believers in the One and True Creator, WILL walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Be it through loss of a loved one, illness, disease, etc.  

It's choosing to follow the Lord and trust Him that will make you or break you.  If my faith had not been intact, I would have fallen apart at the seams.  

Because the Lord is not a liar, and He keeps ALL of His promises, I can sit here and write this today:  I have joy!  

It's not to say that my grief will not deepen again.  Because it will.  This I know too well. The grief will come and go, and sometimes surprise me and give me a real swift kick I didn't see coming.  It's clinging, literally, to God's word that will make ALL of the difference in the whole entire world!

May I pray for you?  Feel free to comment or send me an email privately.

May you be blessed and JOYful!

Jesus in Disguise

Yesterday, after soccer in the morning and a few errands, it was time for lunch.  We headed to a sandwich shop called Which Wich to grab a to-go order for Evan, my mother-in-law, and myself.  We were going to take my MIL lunch and join here at her place of employment.  

While there, we were blessed.  It's not the big things in life, like winning a sum of money or such, but rather, the kind gesture that reminds you that, YES, there is one God--our Lord and Saviour--and He is good always!

While in sort of a line (it was rather people staring at the menu and blank paper bags, figuring our HOW to order their sandwiches!), two middle-aged men entered the store.  Evan and I were still figuring out what we wanted to eat, and we started to chat with the two gentleman...not uncommon for us.  We just like to chit chat and make the time go by when we are waiting, and well, Evan and I are both extroverts at times.  Anyway, one of the two gentleman asked Evan if he was homeschooled, and Evan said,"Yes."  He went on to say that his sister homeschooled her 8 children, 1 of which is special needs.  We chatted a while longer, and he told me,"Whatever you and your son want, it's on me."  I told him,"Oh no, you don't have to do that."  And he said,"You guys have good personalities, and I like that in people.  I'll buy your lunch."  

First of all, I was blown away!  This man, who had no idea who Evan and I are, decided to bless us!  That small act of kindness BLESSED my heart beyond belief!!!  To Evan and I, he was Jesus in "disguise" in a sense, because he was kind to a stranger.  He spared his money to buy for someone he didn't know, and quite frankly, he could have spent that money on himself...but he chose to bless others.

Dear sir, I do not know you, but if you somehow stumble across this post, THANK YOU for blessing our hearts!!!  

When Plan "A" Doesn't Work [Changing up what we learn]

As the holidays were nearing us here at our quaint, country home here in Texas, I felt the need for change in our daily routine.  It seems as though when we get half way or so through a "boxed" curriculum, we are ready to do something new and exciting.  Nothing against boxed curriculum, but I think after 3 plus years of homeschooling, I've learned it's just not a fit for us.

Last week we started back to school.  Well, Evan didn't know we did!


At dinner earlier this week, Daddy asked Evan what he did today, and how was school time.  Evan's response:  We didn't do any school today!


I whispered in my husband's ear that we indeed did do school, but in a different way.


I've been intrigued by Delight Directed Learning for quite some time.  Basically, whatever interests your child, you build their learning sort of around that topic/interest.  At least, that's how I've been doing it.


For example, Evan adores Botany and plants/trees/flowers/gardening, etc.  For our reading, he did a plant journal.  We hopped onto Youtube and watched a new video each day about one plant he received for Christmas.  The first day was his Pony Tail Palm he received.  I had him record the date, name of plant, watering amount, temperature to keep plant at, light (indoor/outdoor, etc.) amount, etc.


I had zero whines out of Evan, and accomplished reading, writing, and science all in one lesson!


This week, we added in All Nature Sings from Queens Homeschool Supplies (which, by the way, I LOVE!!!), Learning to Spell Through Copywork from Queens Homeschool Supplies, and McGuffey Eclectic Primer reader.  He is enjoying all of this, and each particular lesson in each book is gentle and easy!


How is your school year?  Don't be afraid to sell or give away what's not working for you and your children.

Be blessed,

God's Plans Aren't Always Ours

There are many plans in a man’s heart,
Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.

May you and yours be blessed in 2013!

Happy 10th Birthday, Ethan!!!!

Ethan Joshua Wallace

Born:  November 29, 2002

0630 @ Lackland AFB, TX

weighing 7 lbs. 4 0z. & 21 in. long

Releasing Ethan's Birthday balloons at Ft. Sam Houston National Cemetery.

Yesterday was not as painful as I thought it would be.  We went to Ethan's grave and decorated, sang Happy Birthday, and released 10 orange balloons.  This is our tradition...the balloon releasing and being at his grave.  Then we partake in a dessert of some sort, watch the floating balloons, and then leave to go do something else as a family.

This is our the third birthday without Ethan.  If I've learned anything about anniversaries and birthdays, it's this:  DO NOT SIT AT HOME AND DO NOTHING!  Being out and about and having a plan on the anniversary of his passing and his birthday make it so much better.  

I actually felt happy yesterday.  And then I felt guilty for that.  My human brain and mommy heart thinks I shouldn't be happy on a day when my child should be here, and we should be celebrating another year with gifts, cake, and a fun outting.  But what I have learned is I can feel happy.  It's okay to be happy even though he is no longer with us to celebrate these important days.  

The prayers said by many, many friends and family certainly helped to ease our pain and, instead, leave us with a warmth of peace like no other that comes only from Jesus!

Happy Birthday, Ethan!!!  You are missed and loved by so many, but especially Mommy, Daddy and your best friend Evan. :)  Love you so much!

His Hands and Feet

Oftentimes in this life, we are called by God to do something completely out of our comfort zone.  This is where I am right now.  In just a few days, I will be doing something way out of my comfort zone.  Thoughts of fear paralyze me at times, and my heart starts to beat very fast.  

But today, I really grasped onto what the pastor had to say at church...and I started to feel at peace.  Oh yes, I have a long way to go to feel peace that surpasses understanding, because I am stubborn!

We are called to be His (Jesus') hands and feet.  Literally meaning, that we are a loving extension of who He was while He lived on earth.  That is the very essence of being a Christian.

And so, while I am completely uncomfortable with the adventure on which I am about to embark upon, I know that He is my protector.  That only He can bring me peace.  And I know that I am called to do what I will be doing.  Therefore, I must lay aside my fears and think of the mission, so to speak, that I will be going on.  Just like the flowers of the field that do not worry, I too can trust my Father to care for me!

More details about this later next week!  And hopefully, many photos and stories too!

 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

[Shannon1]

How Can We Get Back to Galatians 1:10?

Howdy, my friends!!!  What a blessed morning it is here at our home.  Nothing spectacular in particular, but I'm just so thankful to be alive, healthy, in my home, spending the day with my son, and drinking in God's Word!


This morning I picked up my Bible off of the side table in the living room.  I had left it yesterday, opened to the first chapter of Galatians, in which I had re-read a bit of chapter 1 and was reflecting on verse 1:10.

For do I now persuade men, or God?  or do I seek to please men?  for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.  

Galatians 1:10 (KJV)

Upon reading this again on this beautiful fall morning, my mind turned immediately to the Amish.  Let's be honest, I am sure that most of us have thought of the Amish as "backwards" or "too old-fashioned" or "weird."  While I don't share this opinion (I'm sure when I was younger I thought they were a bit odd, though), it's very easy to fall into this mentality.

You see, we live IN the world, and when we live IN the world, we can become so tainted and not even know it!  I don't claim to be an expert of the Amish (or Mennonite) community, but I do know that they seem to adhere to not conforming to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2).

What are WE doing as Christians to NOT conform to the pattern of this world?  While I'm not suggesting you sell all you own and go live in an Amish community, I challenge you as  Christian to re-examine your life, and to get into the Word daily.  This goes especially for me!  

As we get deeper into our relationship with the Lord, He will give us the answers.  He will convict our hearts and show us the right way.  We must take off the blinders (in the form of Facebook, TV, idleness--anything that takes too much time away from Him and doesn't let our mind rest-- for a while and rest in Him.  I promise you...He does speak to your heart if you open up to Him and listen!  And what a blessing that will be!


It's too easy to get trapped into doing what others are doing.  And it may not even be really that bad in our eyes.  Our friends may want to go do a particular activity, and we end up going...and it's something as simple as going to see a movie.  Deep inside, it's a movie that isn't really that bad, but yet we feel uncomfortable.  Have you ever felt that way?  Don't give in!  If you feel bad or wrong for participating, this could be God convicting your heart.  Listen!  Obey!  


It's also very easy to let our children participate in events or things that their friends are doing, because we are guilted into it.  But are we giving our children His best?

How about you?  Do you find it hard to live in this world as a follower of Christ?  Do you have any ideas on how to keep focused on Him and not on the things of this world?  Do you please man or God?  

You are Loved By Him,