Thursday, April 19, 2012

One of the Best Things You Can Do for a Grieving Parent

...is to mention their deceased child.  One of my biggest challenges since losing Ethan is keeping his memory alive.  I want others to mention him.  He's not some long lost forgotten part of our family.  I count Ethan just as much as a part of the family as I ever have in the past.  I do not have only one child.  In fact, I still have two
boys, two children who I still love with all of my heart.  When I am 80 (Lord-willing if I shall live that long), when people ask about my children, I will mention my Ethan.

Please don't worry about making me sad (or perhaps a friend of yours who has lost a child) by mentioning Ethan or their beloved child, because I will smile with gladness that you remembered and cared enough to mention him--and I am certain they will too.  Gone but not forgotten.

Miss you and love you Ethan!  Evan and Daddy miss you so much!

In Loving Memory of Ethan Joshua
November 29, 2002-June 5, 2010

15 comments:

Tesha said...

Amen to that!!!!! I think people think they are protecting the grieving parent, when in fact their silence is so painful. Tomorrow is the Kelly's Kornor link-up, just wanted to remind you :) ((((ETHAN))))

KirstyB said...

Sending love and hugs, Shannon! Ethan is never far from my thoughts as I have his picture tucked in my mirror! His beautiful smile greets me every morning as I get ready to start my day! Such a special little boy with a heart of gold who has touched my life (and many others) forever!

Diane said...

So true!! I value the words you wrote, and know them to be true in my own life. I will pray for you today, that God would bring an extra measure of comfort and bring sweet things to remind you of Ethan. :)Diane

Josie said...

Your humble faith in itself is a comfort to the Christian heart. My aunt lost her 23-year-old daughter 12 years ago yesterday, and over the years we have all learned just what you say here about keeping the memory alive. My aunt will talk for hours about her daughter, and the memories are sweeter as the years pass. May Christ forever be your comfort.

Kristy said...

Thank you for saying this! I so want people to talk about my Grant, to not forget him. Silence is so painful.

Hillary said...

Hi! I'm just stopping by Tesha's (and Kelly's) blog to say hello. I read back through your blog and my heart just breaks for you. I live in San Antonio right now and our oldest son's are nearly the same age. He is just a beautiful child, so handsome! He's also just adorable in that picture of him dressed as a cub scout :). My Graham is a Weeblo (did I spell that right?) right now. I can't imagine a world with out him.

We lost our little girl in October of 2010 so I can well imagine some of the pain that you feel too.

Prayers for you and hope that ya'll have a good weekend!

xoxox

Lindsay Rich said...

I am a homeschool mom also and your story about Ethan really touched me. I will be praying for you!

Jennifer Stroup said...

I found your blog from Kelly's Korner. So sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. Never stop talking about that sweet boy. Your story hits home for me as I have lost two little boys and we adopted a little boy named Ethan.

http://ourlittlepiecesofheaven.blogspot.com/

Nicole Rodriguez said...

I just found your blog thru Kelly's Korner. Our sweet boy was born still on March 26, 2006. I have this that I'd like to share with you that has touched me deeply:

"If you know someone who has lost a child...and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift."
~ Elizabeth Edwards

When I first read this I just bawled because it is so true. So, so true. Praying for you.

Eric Simmons said...

I mostly new Ethan through stories from Josh but the few times I was around him I always came away with a memory about him. I will always remember how well mannered he was and how he seemed to have so much wisdom and good advice for such a young boy. We still have his picture up and will never forget him!

Ashley said...

Found your blog on Kelly's Korner. Love this post, I tell people this ALL the time. If you just mention my son is better than just telling me how "sorry you are." Your son is so precious. I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 4 months old to SIDS in August of 2010.

Shannon said...

Eric, thank you so much for stopping by today! Thank you for your kind memories about Ethan! Who could forget that boy? :)

Ashley said...

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!!!! Hearing my son's name is one of the best feelings in the world.

Your good friend Tesha sent me to your blog. I'd love to hear from you as I've had a hard time finding someone who can relate to me and the tragic loss of my son. My blog is ashleyquarles.blogspot.com

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

I wish I could have known Ethan. One day...

Dianne - Bunny Trails said...

So true. I have a friend in SD who lost her son in a car accident when he was 27 (actually, Kevin was great friends with my husband, too). That was probably the single hardest thing for her was that no one would talk about Kevin. If his name ever came up, they would change the subject. That's the biggest lesson I've learned from walking through this with her.