They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
|I believe this is a hyacinth. I snapped this picture while in Monterrey, CA in November, visiting a dear friend.|
Yes, I believe that is true!!! For two plus years I have cried and cried. I've been in a rut. Actually, our family has been in a rut.
Here's the difference I see now: JOY, PEACE, HOPE
I can see a return of joy into my life. To be honest, I didn't think I would ever feel that again--never. It seems nearly impossible when you've buried your child. It seems nearly impossible when you have a hole in your heart, and an ache in your soul beyond comprehension.
But I want to to you there is JOY. Where there is God, there is HOPE. Where there is HOPE, we can continue on this long, dusty, sometimes dark and painful road of grief.
Don't give up. As someone at a GriefShare meeting said in our video: LEAN into Jesus. But how?
Let me be really, really honest. Before Ethan passed, I was at a very happy and fulfilling point in my life both spiritually with the Lord, and in my marriage and family life.
After Ethan passed, my spiritual walk fell apart. NOT my faith. But my consistency in Bible reading of any sort went completely away. I was broke. I HAD to lean into Jesus; to sit in His lap and just...be.
We ALL, believers or non-believers in the One and True Creator, WILL walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Be it through loss of a loved one, illness, disease, etc.
It's choosing to follow the Lord and trust Him that will make you or break you. If my faith had not been intact, I would have fallen apart at the seams.
Because the Lord is not a liar, and He keeps ALL of His promises, I can sit here and write this today: I have joy!
It's not to say that my grief will not deepen again. Because it will. This I know too well. The grief will come and go, and sometimes surprise me and give me a real swift kick I didn't see coming. It's clinging, literally, to God's word that will make ALL of the difference in the whole entire world!
May I pray for you? Feel free to comment or send me an email privately.
May you be blessed and JOYful!