Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Yes, I CAN have Joy!

This morning while reading my Bible, I came across a verse that JUMPED out to me, and filled me with peace and a smile.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 
 ~Psalm 126:4~
I believe this is a hyacinth.  I snapped this picture while in Monterrey, CA in November, visiting a dear friend.

Yes, I believe that is true!!!  For two plus years I have cried and cried.  I've been in a rut.  Actually, our family has been in a rut.  

Here's the difference I see now:  JOY, PEACE, HOPE

I can see a return of joy into my life.  To be honest, I didn't think I would ever feel that again--never.  It seems nearly impossible when you've buried your child.  It seems nearly impossible when you have a hole in your heart, and an ache in your soul beyond comprehension.  

But I want to to you there is JOY.  Where there is God, there is HOPE.  Where there is HOPE, we can continue on this long, dusty, sometimes dark and painful road of grief.

Don't give up.  As someone at a GriefShare meeting said in our video:  LEAN into Jesus.  But how?

Let me be really, really honest.  Before Ethan passed, I was at a very happy and fulfilling point in my life both spiritually with the Lord, and in my marriage and family life.  

After Ethan passed, my spiritual walk fell apart.  NOT my faith.  But my consistency in Bible reading of any sort went completely away.  I was broke.  I HAD to lean into Jesus;  to sit in His lap and just...be.  

We ALL, believers or non-believers in the One and True Creator, WILL walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Be it through loss of a loved one, illness, disease, etc.  

It's choosing to follow the Lord and trust Him that will make you or break you.  If my faith had not been intact, I would have fallen apart at the seams.  

Because the Lord is not a liar, and He keeps ALL of His promises, I can sit here and write this today:  I have joy!  

It's not to say that my grief will not deepen again.  Because it will.  This I know too well. The grief will come and go, and sometimes surprise me and give me a real swift kick I didn't see coming.  It's clinging, literally, to God's word that will make ALL of the difference in the whole entire world!

May I pray for you?  Feel free to comment or send me an email privately.

May you be blessed and JOYful!


Tesha said...

Oh this was such a blessing to me! That scripture has so much more meaning now It warm my heart to think you have joy. Its true that grief will come but praise God for joy today! You can pray for me as I approach Jonathan's birthday. Today I had to sit in the room at the doctor office where I saw him lifeless on the ultrasound. My heart is heavy and my emotions are sensitive I so do not want to be offend (again) because of my heartache. Praying for you also!

Hillary said...

Wonderful post today! I feel just the same way! I love that you use the word HOPE. That one four letter word is what has gotten myself and my family through our loss. A scripture jumped out at me to a little over two years ago and changed my life forever... "Let us hold fast the confession of our HOPE without wavering for He who has promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23. That one simple statement sums up everything for me!

Lots of love to you!


Angelia D said...

Your hope and faith inspire me so much. You put my life into perspective. Hubby's home now, and he has a lot of work to catch up on, so let me know when we can get together and in what part of town!


Angelia Dittmeier

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

I am so thankful that you are choosing joy! Our feelings are so fickle... and I have found that as my circumstances become more pleasant and happy, my faithfulness in my Bible reading and prayer life slackens. I hate that I can be so inconsistent. BUT I am thankful that even in the midst of my failings, GOD IS FAITHFUL and constant and true. And no matter how neglectful I can be of His Word, whenever I open my Bible or call to Him, He shows me, teaches me, hears me, loves me. I am glad we don't have to walk through this alone. I would be a total mess if I had to rely on myself!

Reminds me of that hymn... Joy unspeakable and full of glory, oh the half has never yet been told.

(Boy, what a rambly comment! It makes sense in my head though. ;)

Heidi @ Home Schoolroom said...

So glad you are feeling joy and hope again. May God continue to comfort you.

Cherishing My Days said...

I love hearing this! Brings a smile to my face. Praying for you. :)

Pamela said...

I understand the "sitting on Jesus' lap and just being." I'd sit and just hold my Bible. I'd try to read it and the words all blended together. So I'd sit and be--and I believe that pleased God. I knew where my strength was and didn't have to "do" but just "be." Love how truthful you always are with your journey.